Tuesday, 7 October 2008
It's over!
Yea I dun have a brother anymore... Sad? Yea I am but so? Cause I've done so much as a brother to love and look after. To be with him and neglect my friends. I'd realise I was stupid to do so. Having to see my brother with some other guy make me feel like an idiot lousy brother. However, it seems to be restricting him. Well his friends scolded me on that part. So did he. Yea that's my fault. Restricting is stupid I know. But that's how I feel right? But well, instead of solving things like what brothers should. He wanted to make me a different kind of brother. A brother that was not close to one another. I rejected. Why? Not having to be brothers and having to be some other brother? What use is there.
There is so much I regret doing now. Too much to say indeed. I regret being his brother in the first place. I regret following him to school. I regret following him home. I regret fetching him back home, fetching him to school. I regret having to do errands for him. I regret caring for him when he had asthma. I regret sharing drinks and food with him. I regret bringing him to the Padang to enjoy national day together. I regret helping him skip fall-in due to his asthma attack. I regret caring for him. I regret loving him too much. I regret doing so much. I regret leaving my friends just to be with him. I regret giving my friends the feeling that I leave them too much. I regret having to be devoted to a Sec1 kid. I regret having to motivate him to study. I regret calling him every night, I regret asking how he feels when he breathes so hard. I regret allowing him to come my house. I regret having to give him my sticks, which were a present given to me for my birthday. Iregret having to wake him up at 5am in the morning during school days. I regret making myself feel so worried that I'll be late for school when he comes late.I regret all that. I regret everything I did as a brother towards him.
Now its over, I think I am able to concentrate on my Os better :D. One less thing makes me happier doesn't it! :D Though I am happier now, heh... he isn't...
Jotted by Max at 19:17
