Saturday, 21 July 2007
Emotional being...
Back to blogging again, due to popular demands.
So hiya people, sorry for not blogging much lately... So yes... today is the day Harry Potter Comes out. Many people should be rushing for it. Just today, Joey, Zi Chuan, Tasya, Kenny and I went to the popular bookstore in Westmall to see the book with our own eyes. Who knew it was sold out. Definately the sale of the books are fast... Many people are waiting to know the ending. Since I do not have the book, I do not know what is going on, but I know the ending, i guess. I am, however, not going to spout a single word for those Harry Potter fans who have not received their books.
These days, I feel different... Very different... I just don't feel myself lately. I feel like some other person... The week gone past with my class watching and learning about Titanic, the unsinkable(Which eventually... still sank) during English lessons. It sure was fun and emotional... the story... Though some parts of the movie, we were laughing... Many others, we were a little down... I don't know for my friends, but I felt so myself... Never once I felt so deepened by sorrow... That piercing feeling of people dying and fighting to survive... The feeling of people forced to stay down in the bottom, not letting them escape, but die in the midst... People witnessing the sinking must sure feel very sad... I feel sad too... very... for them... I am lost for words... It just seems that I am to break down and cry just seeing the part... Though I never cried without a cause, its just weird... I am so emotional... hais...
Done with that emotional part, I guess I can talk about band? So, I am the bass drummer for marching, and Tasya is the conductor. This shows one thing, everything is going to be in deep trouble. Why? I am never well in my timing to tell you the truth... Music, my weakness? Timing... I am so sure of that. It is not my strokes, not my anything... just timing... AND myself being so panicky during band lessons, during every single band practise for no apparant reason. It just seems with a conductor that is stern, I just cannot do it... embarassment I guess... but that's me... I don't know what I can do for now... just go with it I guess, but I don't think I'll last long enough... I wonder... why am I the only one being picked on in Band most of the time... Why can't I be taught proper and why is everyone looking at me when something goes terribly wrong... Not as if I did it on purpose... hais... I just don't understand... I know I can't go with it with being embarassed, maybe this is a lesson for me...
I am such an immature kid. Truthfully, I sometimes wonder if I can change... I'd rather be someone serious than someone acting like a comedian or someone stupid. Can't I just be a person of myself? Myself as in a person who is not acting silly and laughing at itty bitty stuffs. I now wonder... What am I... why am I here... I really wonder more on that now than anything else... I really wonder... Have I chosen the right path? Or am I led onto the wrong one already... Which is it...
Jotted by Max at 20:45
